Day 1: How bad is it?

The truth is I really don't know. I have an approximate idea of how much I owe, and to whom, but if you asked me to break it down to the dollars and cents, I couldn't do it. This is a matter of some concern to me. I spent 5 years in an elite engineering program developing my ability to analyze data and apply higher order math to complex problems, and I'm not even sure how much I have left to pay off the damn degree. I've designed infrastructure systems for multi-million dollar construction projects, but I couldn't tell you exactly how much I owe monthly for car insurance.You would think something as mathematically simple as making sure the plus column exceeds the minus column wouldn't be out of my mental grasp, but I am humbled by my complete inability to do so up to now.

What I'm learning though, is that it's not just about the numbers. If anything, the money is just a way of keeping score for all the good and bad choices one makes. Facing up to this situation is forcing me to take a good hard look at a lot of things I could have done better, or would choose differently if I had it to do over again. Spending habits, educational and career choices, saving and investing, lifestyle choices, it's all right there laid out for me in my bank statement.

Speaking of which, I spent a little time with my most recent bank statement today. Last month I made eleven separate purchases under $20 on food, drink, or entertainment for a total of $88. Not one was anything I needed or got any particular value out of, other than some instant gratification. If I push that out to purchases under $30 on the same type of items. the total jumps to almost $200, and I had nothing to show for it at the end of the month except some empty bottles in the trash and some wrappers shoved into the door pocket of my truck.

Now I'm not against splurging from time to time, and I think a well prepared meal in a nice restaurant is as good a way to spend your entertainment budget, not to mention an evening out with good company, but somehow I don't think hitting up the Carl's Jr. drive-thru or stopping for a breakfast burrito at Tamale Kitchen qualifies under the same criteria. I'm nickle and dime-ing myself to financial ruin on junk food and beer. I can hardly believe it as I write it, but the numbers don't lie.

I received a lot of good feedback from my first entry here, and some good suggestions too. It seems there are some financial gurus out there with the recipe for success. I've done some reading on their websites and there isn't anything they advocate that isn't plain common sense. Except common sense is pretty uncommon these days, isn't it? I like some of the techniques I've read about, all of which start with the need to precisely quantify exactly what you owe and to whom. So that's my homework during this first week of fasting. I'll have plenty of extra time since I won't be staring slack-jawed at Chinese take-out menus or debating the merits of Colorado craft brewers' summer seasonals.